Currently

Watching: Oh goodness. I may be a TV addict... I am currently making my way through Friday Night Lights on DVD, Army Wives on Netflix, and a kajillion shows on Hulu: New Girl, Nashville, 90210, Glee, Bones, Once Upon a Time, Castle, Biggest Loser, Smash, Grey's Anatomy, and there's probably more that I'm forgetting....
Reading: Okay before you judge me for being a brainless TV watching drone, I do read too! I am trying to get through multiple books at once, actually. I'm reading The Casual Vacancy (love Rowling, having a hard time with a Muggle book), The Loop, Pendragon: The Merchant of Death, and about 10 books about linguistic and composition research for my thesis (update tomorrow!)
Listening to: Christina Perri, Halestorm, and Macklemore, constantly on repeat. My boyfriend has gotten a little tired of my cd selection in the car....
Excited about: My new job! I currently work part time at a medical facility, but starting next month I will be full time in a different department. It's a slightly similar position, but I have a LOT to learn. I am excited to be a full time, 8-5 girl with my weekends free! My current position is nights and weekends, and the end time depends on when another department releases us.
Thinking about: Life in general. Since my thesis is due next month (gulp) I have been trying to figure out what is next for me. I don't know what the future holds, and that terrifies me. I've been in school since I was 2 - I don't know how to live without a deadline. After this, what's next?
Thanks, Danielle, for the idea!

The ABCs of Me

Okay, I'm copping out here....

I have seen this post floating around and figured, well, might as well do something for the readers while I'm stuck in this writing rut!

So, since there's a few new followers around here, I figured this is a great way to introduce myself.

The ABCs of Heidi:

Age - 21

Bed size - Full - my apartment is way too small for anything comfortable ;)  

Chore you hate -  Dishes! Give me any other chore, even cleaning the cat box, please!  

Dogs - Not at the moment. Well, my parents have 3 - Callie & Hobbes at my dad's, Milo (aka Stinks) at my mom's.

Essential start to your day - Brushing my teeth. I feel awful until I can kill that dragon breath

Favorite color -  Red. The brighter the better.

Gold or silver - Silver. It just works better for me

Height - 5'10"

Instruments you play - Does a glass bottle flute count?? Haha I am tone deaf. Tried to play flute and saxophone, but that didn't last long.

Job title - Imaging Office Specialist... for 3 more weeks! Then I am switching to a full time Medical Office Specialist - more hours, and my weekends back!

Kids - Someday. Still figuring out taking care of just me!

Live - Oregon! My whole life

Married - Not yet ;) Someday, hopefully. 

Nicknames - Mostly people just call me by my last name. 

Overnight hospital stays - none. Well, I spent the night in my grandma's hotel room, but no overnight scares for this girl. 

Pet peeve - hearing people eat. chewing is just gross!

Righty or lefty -  righty

Siblings - 2 sisters, 3 stepbrothers 

Time you wake up - Varies every day. Lately, 7:30 is a common time. 

University attended - Western Oregon University

Vegetables you dislike - Cooked green beans. Love them raw, hate them cooked.

What makes you run late - I hate being late. That being said, running around trying not to be late usually makes me late! 

X-rays you’ve had - chest, knee, arm.... probably a lot more, but I can't seem to remember right now.

Yummy food - Almost all! I'm finding lately that I crave granola bars, salad, and steak.

Zoo animal favorite - elephants! My favorite animal is a ladybug, but they aren't a special zoo animal...

Dark Days

Do you ever have one of those days that just pop up outta nowhere and hit you?
That was Tuesday for me.
It should have been a great day. Monday, I had a job interview, followed by lunch/thesis prep with a good friend, dinner with my married friends, and a much needed catch up chat with a girlie I'd been missing.
I should have been flying high, busting out work on my thesis (I found out the first draft is due in March, not May, so I need to get my butt in gear!)
Instead, I woke up Tuesday morning and hit a wall. I couldn't drag myself out of bed for longer than a trip to the kitchen for snack. I was alternating between sleep and panic. I had received a call that I had a follow up interview on Wednesday, so I should have been stoked. Instead I was panicked, freaked out that the interviewers were going to think I'm not ready. I thought they might tell me I wasn't ready for the grown up job, that this was too difficult a job and too big of a commitment for me. 
I didn't pull myself out of bed and into the shower until well after 5 pm.  Even then, it was a challenge. If J. hadn't been texting me all day to check in on me, I probably never would have crawled out of my covers. I just didn't want to face the fact that I was completely alone in my world, with no human contact at all beyond my cell phone screen. 
Some days, I just can't handle being alone. I can't seem to deal with getting up and being responsible.
Some days, that's okay.
Luckily for me, as time goes on, these days get fewer and far between. 
Someday, maybe, I can avoid a dark day, alone in my bed with my Nutella and Wheat Thins for comfort.
Someday.
So, readers, I have a question for you.
Do you ever have dark days? If so, how do you handle them? Do you have any tried and true techniques to kick a funk and function? 
Please, email me if you have any tips, as I can use all the help I can get with this. 

I seem to be getting worse at this.

I used to be awesome at remembering birthdays, even pre-Facebook. I can still tell you every single one of my ex-boyfriends' birthdays. However, lately, my brain has been completely gone on the date.
So, this is three days late, but...
HAPPY THIRD BIRTHDAY LITTLE BLOG OF MINE!
I can't believe I have been at this for three years now. My little space of the internet has grown from having absolutely no idea of what I am doing to...
well, still not sure what I am doing here, but whatever it is helps keep me sane!
This little page of mine has been my venting place, the place I go to straighten out my thoughts. 90% of the time I delete the posts instead of publishing them, but writing them out helps.
This may not be the most picture heavy, or the most interesting blog, but it's mine, and that is enough for me.

Howdy, 2013

Adios, 2012.  Okay, so to celebrate this new year, I'm gonna go Raven style and do gratitude and gripes of 2012.
Gripes:
1) Cancer struck again, this time on my mama's ta-tas. Stupid cancer. To quote Rockstar Ronan, FU CANCER!! 2) Being broke 99.9% of the year. yaaaay college fees. 3) Moving and paying rent on 2 apartments for the month of December. blech. 4) Spring term killed me. 5) Fall term killed me. 6) Family drama.
Gratitudes:
1) Met J. Started dating J. Fell in love with J.  2) My birthday cruise! See recaps here, here, here, here, here, and here! 3) I graduated....somewhat 4) My internship, building this website, and organizing a conference - definitely worth the tuition fees and stress. 5) My first blogger gift exchange, a surprise award, writing my first guest post, and winning my first giveaway 6) Finally getting up the nerve to email Suz instead of just stalking her blog and hoping to magically become her friend. Well, 2012 was an...odd...year. I guess odd is the best term I can think of, since it's been up and down nonstop. For 2013, I am hoping to slow down and actually get some stuff on my to-do list knocked off for good. Now, I have to make a to-do list... (details, details...)
I hope y'all had a good holiday season, and here's to being a better blogger (hopefully)!

The Sky is Falling!

If you're reading this,  You survived the end of the world, according to the Mayans!
Congrats!
I don't actually believe in the end of the world but if I did, I'd reevaluate my life. So far my list of accomplishments reads: -Graduated 3rd in my class from high school -Got in the honors program in college -Semi-graduated college early
Yeah, that's about it. IF the world ends today, I literally will have spent most of my life in school. I was in preschool at age 2, and haven't stopped learning ever since.
If the world ends, here's a list of things I wish I HAD done: 1) Changed my mind earlier about my degree and graduated in 3 years instead of 3.25 2) Traveled more (I have 0 stamps in my passport!) 3) Cared less about family approval and spent more time caring about my own feelings 4) Met another blogger in real life (Some day I hope to finally meet Suz!) 5) Had more job experience, tried my hand at different fields 6) Read more books. 7) Learned more about my family's history
I'm sure the list would be longer, but my Internet access is ending soon. See you after the world ends!

Back to Regular Posting

After three back to back posts about the shootings, I think it may be time to lighten the mood around this space.
I am still grieving for the victims, don't get me wrong. However, life must go on, and we cannot dwell on dark times.
So, on to lighter topics! First off, everyone's favorite topic this time of year: CHRISTMAS! This year, since I am completely lacking in the money department, most presents will by DIY projects. I may share some of these after the holidays - some people who read this blog may be recieving these gifts, so I better not spoil the surprise!
Sadly, thsi year, I'm not really in the Christmas spirit.  At first it was school and moving stress, but now, I'm just feeling a little blah. I can't get a tree, due to lack of space,  and I can't afford presents for pretty much anybody.  Maybe it's just a one person pity party, but I'm just not in the holly jolly spirit.
However, thanks to the lack of funds, I have a lot more time to stay home and get caught up on reading. Anybody have any good book suggestions for me? My library card is brand new and needs to be broken in!