Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Dark Days

Do you ever have one of those days that just pop up outta nowhere and hit you?

That was Tuesday for me.

It should have been a great day.
Monday, I had a job interview, followed by lunch/thesis prep with a good friend, dinner with my married friends, and a much needed catch up chat with a girlie I'd been missing.

I should have been flying high, busting out work on my thesis (I found out the first draft is due in March, not May, so I need to get my butt in gear!)

Instead, I woke up Tuesday morning and hit a wall.
I couldn't drag myself out of bed for longer than a trip to the kitchen for snack.
I was alternating between sleep and panic.
I had received a call that I had a follow up interview on Wednesday, so I should have been stoked.
Instead I was panicked, freaked out that the interviewers were going to think I'm not ready.
I thought they might tell me I wasn't ready for the grown up job, that this was too difficult a job and too big of a commitment for me. 

I didn't pull myself out of bed and into the shower until well after 5 pm. 
Even then, it was a challenge.
If J. hadn't been texting me all day to check in on me, I probably never would have crawled out of my covers.
I just didn't want to face the fact that I was completely alone in my world,
with no human contact at all beyond my cell phone screen. 

Some days, I just can't handle being alone. I can't seem to deal with getting up and being responsible.

Some days, that's okay.

Luckily for me, as time goes on, these days get fewer and far between. 

Someday, maybe, I can avoid a dark day, alone in my bed with my Nutella and Wheat Thins for comfort.


So, readers, I have a question for you.

Do you ever have dark days? If so, how do you handle them? Do you have any tried and true techniques to kick a funk and function? 

Please, email me if you have any tips, as I can use all the help I can get with this. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

I seem to be getting worse at this.

I used to be awesome at remembering birthdays, even pre-Facebook.
I can still tell you every single one of my ex-boyfriends' birthdays.
However, lately, my brain has been completely gone on the date.

So, this is three days late, but...


I can't believe I have been at this for three years now.
My little space of the internet has grown from having absolutely no idea of what I am doing to...

well, still not sure what I am doing here,
but whatever it is helps keep me sane!

This little page of mine has been my venting place, the place I go to straighten out my thoughts.
90% of the time I delete the posts instead of publishing them, but writing them out helps.

This may not be the most picture heavy, or the most interesting blog, but it's mine, and that is enough for me.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Howdy, 2013

Adios, 2012. 
Okay, so to celebrate this new year, I'm gonna go Raven style and do gratitude and gripes of 2012.


1) Cancer struck again, this time on my mama's ta-tas. Stupid cancer. To quote Rockstar Ronan, FU CANCER!!
2) Being broke 99.9% of the year. yaaaay college fees.
3) Moving and paying rent on 2 apartments for the month of December. blech.
4) Spring term killed me.
5) Fall term killed me.
6) Family drama.


1) Met J. Started dating J. Fell in love with J. 
2) My birthday cruise! See recaps here, here, here, here, here, and here!
3) I graduated....somewhat
4) My internship, building this website, and organizing a conference - definitely worth the tuition fees and stress.
5) My first blogger gift exchange, a surprise award, writing my first guest post, and winning my first giveaway
6) Finally getting up the nerve to email Suz instead of just stalking her blog and hoping to magically become her friend.
Well, 2012 was an...odd...year. I guess odd is the best term I can think of, since it's been up and down nonstop.
For 2013, I am hoping to slow down and actually get some stuff on my to-do list knocked off for good.
Now, I have to make a to-do list... (details, details...)

I hope y'all had a good holiday season, and here's to being a better blogger (hopefully)!