Right here, right now.

Man, my brain has been going into overtime lately.
Over-thinking, overanalyzing, playing the "What-if?" game non-stop.
("what if we had another chance? what if i hadn't done this? what if i hadn't let him get away?")

It's scary in my mind sometimes. Constantly turning, running through multiple scenarios. All the time. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who could stop thinking and just do. I want to be able to dive before I look, even if it is just once. But, I'm too scared of making a mistake. I don't want to look back and go, "well, that was stupid and look at all the damage done."

I'm not the typical college girl. I have no desire to drink or have sex. I want to stay a virgin until I'm married, which automatically rules me a "prude". My parents just instilled the fear of anything inappropriate by saying, "Don't do anything you wouldn't want to tell Grandpa about." The extent of my "foolishness" is my tattoo, which I actually contemplated for a good seven months before I got it done. I don't regret it at all, but my grandparents have no idea that I have it. Sometimes I wish I was the kind of girl who could have a fling with no strings attached, who could kiss a guy and not get emotionally attached. My problem is I'm an emotional wreck. I get emotionally attached to everything (except animals, oddly enough). Heck, I have stuffed animals and old kids' meals toys that I can't bring myself to throw away.

I have so much I want to accomplish in life, I don't know if I'll get it all done. However, I know I could get so much more done if I could just shut my brain down for a bit. If I was always worrying, I could actually be productive.

Well, I'm hoping I'll have yet another revelation as to shut myself up. Until then, here I go, bumbling and stumbling through this crazy twisty path called life.