Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Hmmmmm...

My life is in a mumphy stage. There isn't much going for me right now, and it's just an all around less than great time.

Which is weird. Usually, I love fall. I get to get back to doing what I do best - going to school! If I could live my life as a perpetual scholar, I'd be as happy as a clam (never really understood that expression, but oh well).

However, it's a lot of less than fun situations popping up all at once. I was in a sort of emotional relationship - emotional roller coaster, and we never really saw each other - for six months, give or take. Not only did I just end it, but less than a week after I clarified that we're really better off as friends, he's "facebook officially dating" one of my friends. Yes, I gave them my blessing, but awkwardly accidentally following them home across campus just reminded me that I gave up on a chance for happiness, although talking about it with her made me realize it never would have worked with him & I. It was purely intellectual with us, but with them they bond on all levels. It just kinda feels like a sucker punch, seeing that a few hours with her was all that he needed to get over me. I know I'm dramatizing it, but seeing them happy reminded me of how unhappy I am, and how unhappy I've been for a really, really long time. I can't hold it against them. In fact, I'm happy for them. but I'm miserable.

That is my main problem today, but it's added onto the stress that gramma has cancer (easily curable, but still. The c word is not fun.) as well as that this term is the most stressful of my college career, which is weird because it's the lightest load I've had yet.

Mumphy mumphy mumphy. aksbvalkjsbdvaklj. yeah, i'm miserable.

1 comment:

  1. :( Lets hang out, watch a movie, and drink hot chocolate with cinnamon soon. I promise I won't spill it on your carpet this time! Love you lots!

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