What? A post??

Psssst.
I'm alive, I swear!!
Sorry, dear readers (if I have any left...),  life kind of got in the way of blogging!
Here's a short preview of what is to come on good ol' BB:
Relationship update (well, for those who don't already know the news!) (hopefully) a new series regarding said news Potentially a schedule to get me back in this blogging business?
Fingers crossed I actually stick with it this time...

What's next?

The most irritating question for a graduate to hear.

The answer? I have no freaking clue.

For the past three years, my answer would have been to work off debt, ho to grad school for publishing, then work as an editor for a publishing company.

The unthinkable happened. I was offered a trial run as an editor for a very small, independent publishing company. My dream job, straight out of college?? I even asked Jacop to pinch me, because I though I was dreaming.

As I started this trial run, however, I kept getting more and more anxiety, as well as more and more negative about the opportunity. After several conversations with my parents, my coworkers, and Jacop, I came to realize the truth - editing books is not my dream career. I would rather have endless root canals. I held on to the dream of editing because my sister once suggested I might be good at it.

So, this is my conundrum. I have a burning desire to work hard for my dream, to be passionate about my career - but I don't have a dream to work for. I love books, and reading, but I'm afraid doing it for a living will kill that love.

My mom told me that I need to sit down and really think hard about what I want to do for the rest of my life. Honestly, I don't have a single idea. I know I want to enjoy going to work everyday, to be excited about the job, but I don't know if any career will be this way for me.

On one hand, I'm only 22. I should be carefree, living life to the fullest. On the other hand, these are my prime years. I should focus on my career and worry about life later. In a world that wants women to have powerful careers, be workhorses, but still have these amazing adventures, a family, and go good in the world through volunteer work, it is very, very easy to fall down in this "I'm not good enough but I don't know how to make it better" funk.

It's been awhile since I've posted, but this is where I've been - battling between living life to the fullest and fulfilling my potential to live up to great expectations. Bear with me, please!

(Also, any career counseling tips or life advice is always greatly appreciated)

Life Hangover

Whoopsie.
It's been a very long time since I've posted, hasn't it?
Sorry, dear readers! (If any of you are still reading, imagine a GIANT high five heading your way.)
I'm kind of stuck in a life hangover, which results in a silent blog.
Lately it has been wedding, thesis, wedding, thesis, wedding, thesis nonstop.
And no, I am not referring to my own wedding (HA. that's gonna be awhile!)
Thanks to stress and no time to relax,
I've been feeling under the weather and incapable of putting words on the screen.
However, here's some news: next Wednesday, June 5th, I present my findings for my thesis. Ten days later, Saturday June 10th, I walk across a stage, get handed an empty diploma holder, and celebrate with family and friends, all while wearing a tent.
That's right! I'm GRADUATING!!!
Until then, however, my life has been planned to the very last minute, so don't expect regular posts for awhile.
Hopefully, the madness will end soon!

Get fit, get happy... get going!

Lately, life has gotten busy. I started a new job, which has been amazing and exhausting.
I now work at the same medical facility, but as a full time receptionist in a new department.
I love it.  The department is always busy, which makes the day go by very quickly. It helps that the people I work with are all friends. They work well together,  and every single person is pleasant to be around.
This job is mentally exhausting, and hectic. It is just what I needed. I was growing bored and restless, two emotions that sink my spirits and lead to many, many dark days.
I've only been there for a week and two days, but I am pretty sure this is going to be a great fit for me. I already am inspired to get my thesis done and over with, as well as getting in shape.
Annnnnnnd now for the title of this post. My best friend of almost 10 years is working on becoming a certified personal trainer. This lucky duck is her first client of sorts! Starting in a couple weeks (she has to finish winter term first), she's gonna help me work out a plan to get in shape, taking into consideration my weaknesses. I've already downloaded an app that tracks my eating habits, so hopefully I can get healthy.
My goal is to get healthy so I can be happy. Any tips?

Love, love, love

Okay, so my post this morning was a little rant-y.
I am not gonna lie, today was a great day! The best way I could think of to celebrate my favorite state's birthday.
After sleeping in (always a treat), J took me to brunch at a delicious little cafe by the waterfront. I am a terrible blogger, so I totally forgot to take a picture.... whoops!
After brunch, we ran around town getting gifts to spoil his parents (What can I say? I love to spoil people!) and just spent the afternoon enjoying each other's company. We even did a little dream car shopping - he found a car he's very, very interested in!
It was a beautiful, sunny, semi-warm day for Oregon, which was incredible!   Now, for the only cheesy romantic thing we did all day, I actually remembered to take a couple of couple-y pictures:

both taken by the waterfront park.

What can I say?

I love this kid!

Love and other schtuff

Ah, Valentine's Day. Our love/hate relationship continues.
I'll admit, this is going to be a different holiday for me. It's the first time I'll be actually in a serious relationship. (I've only had one other Valentine's Day with a boyfriend, and it was high school - We had been dating 2 weeks)
So here's a little tidbit about me - I tend to spoil people.  I love spending too much money on anyone except myself. I love giving gifts. (My bank account kinda hates it...)
Since this is J. and I's first Valentine's Day together, I kinda went a little overboard...
Originally, my plan was to follow the 4 gifts rule: 1. Something he wants 2. Something he needs 3. Something he wears 4. Something he reads.
Technically, I followed this rule..... I just didn't keep it to one thing in each category. Instead it ended up like this:
1. 3 movies: Superbad, Men In Black 1, and Men In Black 2. 2. A brand new wall clock (his current one starts and stops randomly) 3. These gloves (he longboards, and has been drooling over these...) 4. Bloody Sundays and When Pride Still Mattered: Lombardi
So I stuck to the rules as far as what to get... just not number wise!
So why do I have a love/hate relationship with this day?
Well, I love it because it's another occasion to spoil the ones I love,  but I hate it because it is another day that requires thoughtful gifts and money spending.
Don't get me wrong, I love spoiling J. I just wish it wasn't because of the pressure of a cheesy holiday. I also am NOT a big romance person (I tease J for being cheesy romantic) so a holiday where the key idea is to be as romantic as possible isn't really my cup of tea.
Who knows? Maybe J. can change my mind about this day.  I'll update you lovely readers tomorrow!

Thorn in My Side

So, in case you didn't know, there is a giant monkey on my back.
This monkey is known as "The Thesis".
So, back when I was a sweet little 17 year old idiot, I decided joining the honors program at my college was a great idea.  It was supposed to be fun, and look great on resumes.
It was all fun times and happy go lucky until junior year. They warn you about the thesis, mention it as a side note, but they encourage not worrying about it until your junior year.
then, BAM.
it's all thesis. all the time.
So. Anywho. This is a big deal. Right now, I am still researching how to do my research. I am stuck at my literature review, slugging through books such as Discourse Analysis: A Toolkit, and Composition Research.  I am trying to find some way to get myself motivated to even get this thing written sloppily, words just thrown on the page, but I can't.
I'm stuck, but I've got a few ideas on how to unstick myself. 
So, if you only hear from me in sporadic spurts, you can understand why. Thesis owns my life right now.
My goal is to finish the first draft before I start my new position. Wish me luck!