Monday, July 5, 2010

first attempt at a grown up shopping trip - epic fail.

I had a plan for today.
I was going to be early, breeze up to Target, and meet my sister to begin our adult day.
I was going to march into Target, pick up the gorgeous bookshelf I had my heart set on, pick out a new swimsuit that miraculously hid my body flaws, grab a cheap, yet delicious, lunch, and breeze on home.

Epic fail.

GoogleMaps took me on a crazy, unnecessarily windy route, when I was running on a quarter of a tank of gas. I was ten minutes late to meet my sister, and I was a wreck. My hair was supremely disagreeable, and it was one of those "throw on the first clean clothes available" days, which meant I was definitely not the most presentable.

When I finally met up with my sister, we marched into Target and headed to the furniture section.
The bookshelf I was looking for was a beautiful 5-shelf, black, classic unit, which is listed on Target website as $19.99 and only available in stores - supposed to be in stock in Albany.

The only bookshelf I found at Target cost $119.99. For three shelves. Ridiculous.

So we picked up a "fifteen cube storage unit", not realizing the supremely tiny proportions. It now holds my shoes, since it would never fit even a single book. Thirty bucks, in a tiny 2x1.5 foot piece of particle board. So frustrating.

To drown my sorrows, we head off to Old Navy to get me shorts and a swimsuit (my sister is a little cash-strapped, and I had a visa gift card from an aunt burning a hole in my pocket). Out of the FIFTEEN ITEMS I took into the fitting room, I took out TWO. The swimsuits were the only things that fit. at all. I discovered that I have gone up a few pants sizes, and it was awful. Luckily I got two new suits that fit me well and hide my tattoo (my dad harbors an extreme dislike for tattoos).

Then it was off to Ross. Once again, discovered I've gained too much for the cute shorts, and only walked out with a t-shirt. Same story at Maurices, only I walked out with 2 expensive pairs of shorts that were several sizes larger than I care to admit to.

Back in Target, I managed to snag a pair of sunny yellow shorts and a pair of jean capris that are super cute, and actually a little large on me - I need a belt! However, the entire day left me feeling fat, broke, and awful. I bought the stuff from Maurices and Target (clothes) on my personal debit card, and I am definitely feeling buyer's remorse. I'm seriously considering returning the clothes I bought today simply because I can't afford them right now and they make me feel fat as it is. However, I don't have the money to spend on the gas to drive back and return the clothes.

It was great to spend the day with my sister, just the two of us, not fighting. However, I nearly broke down into tears seeing how my fat thighs and waist didn't fit into any of the cute, CHEAP clothes I wanted. I hadn't realized how big I had gotten until the shame was filling the dressing room. I was mortified, failing to fit into over 30 pairs of shorts in front of my sister. I can't seem to get my bad habits under control, and I spend and I eat way more than I'm able to afford. I need to learn self control. I need to grow up.

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