Aretha Franklin had it right.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Does anybody remember what that is any more??
Remember the good ol' days when people had respect for themselves, for others, and for life in general?
What happened?

Our society is not slowly sliding into this decline. We're hurtling, head-first, into a nasty lifeless pit.
When did it become ok to disrespect others?
When did it become ok to disrespect yourself?

Looking around, I see younger and younger children losing the good ideals. My sisters and I watched a horrific portion of 20/20 where a 7-year-old boy was being raised to say "God Hates America!" and picket military funerals. The church that the boy's family belongs to raises children to believe that God hates everyone. They yell horrid remarks based on religion, sexual orientation, etc. There is zero respect for anyone outside of the church, and it was horrific to watch. The picketting of the military funerals was horrendous. The men and women who gave their lives to support our freedom should be allowed a dignified burial, mourned as heroes. Attacking the families and saying that God likes dead soldiers is the worst kind of disrespect I have ever seen. It made me sick to my stomach.

Following 20/20, we went to a local a capella show. I may be a freshman in college but I still have no idea why women feel the need to have zero respect for themselves and their bodies. I mean, is cancer and STD's really worth fitting in? I asked my sister several times where all the pants had gone. Seriously, ladies, can we cover our bodies in public? I'm not asking you to where the full body coverings of the Middle East, but can you at least cover the vajayjay? Tops that stop approximately two centimeters from your "downstairs" preferably should have some sort of bottoms underneath. Please maintain some tiny form of decency and dignity, ok? We're supposed to be role models for the young girls who look up to us. I don't want my niece to grow up thinking she has to bare every inch of skin to be gorgeous, or that she has to get knock-out, falling down drunk to fit in. It's disturbing and disgusting. The amount of inebriated women at the show was awful. One girl couldn't even walk. She staggered side to side, finally leaning on the back of a truck to support herself so she could make a phone call. What is the point in getting so entirely drunk that you can't remember what happens and you wake up hating yourself the next day?

Here's my big issue. When did it become acceptible to disrespect the opinions and ideals of others, especially those in authority?? Just because you don't agree with a professor's idea of how to teach a class doesn't mean you have the right to attack their way of teaching and attempting to get us to learn. You also don't have the right to jump down other's throats for simply expressing a different opinion than yours. Listen to what others have to say. Hear their proof and arguments, and consider what they are saying before you completely shoot them down. Nobody should be as cruel and evil as to belittle someone for standing up and saying something. Taking a stand and being unnecessarily rude are two very, very different things. At least respectfully disagree; say you see the other point of view, but you personally believe that x is y, and provide your reasons. You hate being interrupted, so why interrupt others?

The lack of respect around this world is getting to me. So you don't like the President's stand on an issue. Instead of uselessly arguing or picketting, write a letter outlining your concern. Provide strong arguments, but don't just heedlessly hack away at someone else's defense. If someone makes a point, and another person simply says the first person is wrong and does not support the claim while repectfully disagreeing, I will support the first person's claim every day of the week.

It's ok to agree to disagree. It's ok to dress to show off your body in a decent way. It's ok to disagree with a professor's tactics to an extent.

Just follow in Ms. Franklin's footsteps.

RESPECT.
Find out what it means to me.

The cranky old cat lady, minus the cats.

I hate marriage.

The whole idea of it.

I also never want kids.

No snotty nosed munchkins coming outta this womb.

Uh-uh. No way.

I'm content with being an aunt.

As long as I can hand the child back, I'm ok with it.

I don't want pets.

Cats hate me, fish freak me out, and rabbits are dull.

Dogs are chill, but they shed and you have to potty train.

Eeeww.

No, thank you.

As I see it, I am going to be a crazed, workaholic old cat lady, minus the cats.

And I'm ok with that.

I like my life.

I don't need men, animals, or little brats to complete me.

As long as I have books and friends,

I'll be just fine.

Let's take this one step at a time.

Small steps.
One foot after another.
Change is slow.
Change is good.
Baby steps.

I'm honestly, truely ready to change my life.
It's gonna be a slow transition, but I'm ready to be a better me.
First up, goodbye Facebook. I'm deactivating my account on Tuesday.
I miss actually communicating with people.
I was reading Stephanie's blog when I stumbled upon another one. I can't remember the name or the link, but I remember the post.
It was about communication. Technology has made it too easy to disappear from human contact.
We text our friends to keep in touch.
We Facebook to pretend to hold on to relationships.
What happened to snail mail and phone calls?
I'm saying bye-bye to Facebook (although it may be temporary due to friends going out of state and out of country).
I'm hoping to cut back on my texting, but who knows.
Baby steps.

This summer, phase 2 begins.
I'm joining a gym, hopefully 24-hr fitness. I might try to have one or two sessions with a personal trainer to get me started, but it all depends on price.
I want to work out daily. I need to get in shape.
My goal is to walk a marathon for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Fall 2011.
I want to have a way to release anger and stress that's healthy for me.
It will be nice to get back into a healthy daily routine, balancing school, work, and exercise.

Phase three is already in progress (yes I know, out of order) because of my current roommate. We are both trying to eat healthier. Ash makes me dinner, and it's always a healthy balanced meal. She reminds me to eat breakfast, and Gen makes me eat lunch. (Otherwise I'll forget to eat!).
I am considering signing up for CSA, but I need to talk to my next roommate about it. I am willing to pay more for organic, healthy foods. I tried eating a Twinkie awhile ago, and gagged on the greasy nastiness of it.

Phase four is also in progress, and has always been. However, I want to tweak it a bit. It's reading, and educating myself. I've always been an avid reader, dying to get my hands on new books. I have a list of books I want to read or reread this summer, along with three or four summer classes (depending on if I can get into chemistry). I am bound and determined to continue learning, possibly even teaching myself a new language. I have several languages I want to be able to speak, even if only the survival phrases.

Here's my life plan (well, for the next few months anyways.)
What about you?
Any ideas or plans to better yourself? I'd love to hear them!

That's what the chickens say...

There's nothing like a good tumble down the stairs to cheer you up.

That is, if you're me.

Crazy drama everywhere, pet peeve being exploited to the Nth degree, and stress everywhere.

Most people would rant, rave, cry, scream, write out their frustration, etc.

Not me.

My stress relief was an accident.

All I did was walk into work.

My heels hit the stairs, stuck, and down I went.

The people in the room at the bottom of the stairs heard a lovely *thump thump* "Shit! Goddamnit!" *thump thump*.

Then, suddenly, a bubble of laughter burst out of me.

Here I was, 18 years old, and I couldn't even walk down a flight of stairs.

Honestly, it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

I realized how ridiculous my life had become.

I laughed at my arrogant, dramatic self, and how I had been acting.

Who cares?

Seriously. So people are annoying right now. Some may still need to grow up.

So you lost out on one life choice. You ended up with a better one!

(I seriously think the people downstairs think I'm nuts)

Now?

I can laugh it off.

Today, I got annoyed and pissed off. One look at my knees and pinkie missing chunks of skin, and I busted up again.

My new philosophy on Life?

No Matter What, Laugh.

Laughter is my cure. My love. My everything.

Life.

"We know you work all the time, so we don't want to bug you with an invitation."

um, ouch.

Have you ever been running around,
so busy all the time,
that you see the blurs of others,
 but think you are alone?

Welcome to hell week.

I'm taking nineteen credits (yikes) and working twenty plus hours a week. I can't drop all of my responsibilities and run away from my problems at the last minute. I don't have time for silly games.

I love my hectic life. Yes, I realize it sounds crazy, but I've always loved learning. I love to read, i love discovering, and if it was free, I would stay a student forever. I like to be around realistic people like me, and I won't shut up if someone doesn't like the way I think.

I made a few big changes this past month. I grew up. I'm not a grown-up entirely yet, but I'm done wasting my time. I have dreams and goals I would like to achieve, and I can't let pettiness stand in my way. I can't let others hold me back from what I want to do.

I'm not the most driven person in the world. Yes, I set goals and strive to achieve them, but I am okay with not being a 4.0 student. I know that the grades I earn are important, but the 10% difference between a B and an A is never going to effect my life. I don't stress over losing a couple of points. I work hard, and I know I deserve whatever grade I recieve.

I've been dealing with a few issues, but I'm letting go of them right....now. Done. I don't have the time to worry about little things, and I can't handle drama. I won't. So, they're forgotten. I've moved on.

School? I love it. I'm the nerd who loves to learn. I like attending class every day, and I don't know what to do without a scheduled day.

AS for this blog?

I don't care if anyone reads it. (Thanks for the support, Mom). I don't need people to comment, and I don't feel like anyone to care too terribly much about what happens on a daily basis in my life. I write this simply because I'm better at typing than I am at handwriting, and it doesn't clog up memory space on my computer.

I love my life. Don't change that.

Here's to you, Aunt Jackie.

My aunt, Jackie Pignone, was one of the physically smallest people I've ever know.  She was short, ridiculously skinny, and scrawny. True to the family form, she made up for lack of size with immense spirit. She was always the life of the party, laughing and constantly telling stories. She was scrappy and could hold her own in any situation. She was always bubbly, vivacious, and over the top. To know her was to love her, and she made friends everywhere she went. Sure, she had her bad moments (hello, she was human!), but I mostly remember her laughter. I see her at the family reunions, holding a warm Jack and Pepsi, exaggerating her arm movements in accompaniment with her outrageous stories. She was a lover, a spritely trickster, and loved to have a good time.

Aunt Jackie passed away May 7, 2008. That was the day the sun stopped shining as brightly. Colors faded, and everything just grew dull.

In honor of her, last Thursday I took the plunge. I got a tattoo. It's my one and only, because there is no way I will ever go through the pain again. The only thing that kept me from leaping off the table and running out of the building was thinking of Jackie. She made it through so much worse pain then I could ever imagine. To distract myself, I pictured Jackie, sitting in a hammock up in heaven, laughing hysterically at the lovely faces I was making. I could see her perfectly, holding a plastic cup full of warm Pepsi and Jack.

Here's to you Aunt Jackie.

inspiration in the weirdest

i never thought i would be inspired for a deep conversation by a trip to see a Miley Cyrus movie.

Anyways.

on the way back from The Last Song, my friends and I got to talking. A mutual friend of ours is taking a Morals and Social Ethics class, and the class is discussing the majorly controversial topics of creationism vs. evolution, abortion, politics, etc. The others in the car were shocked that the teacher would be encouraging discussions on these topics, since it appears to them that it's inviting an all out brawl.

I, however, thought that the whole point of the class was to discuss these issues from a moral standpoint.

When walking back to our dorms from the car, I pondered a new thought. What if both evolution and creationism are the real story behind our existence? Maybe I need to research both topics a bit more, and maybe people will be offended by this post. I refuse to apologize, however. I have warned before that this is me, unedited.

The way I see it, there must have been SOMETHING that caused everything to exist. Nothing appears from thin air. As I see it, God, or someone like him (Buddah, polytheistic gods?) has to exist. I'm not sure what, but there's something out there bigger than us, in my opinion. However, stop your crazy hectic life and look around. We are surrounded by life, in the forms of trees, bushes, flowers, animals, etc. Scientists are discovering new species daily. They aren't always a new species, however. They always belong to a family of animals. They are products of cross-breeding, perhaps. They have to come into creation in some way other than appearing from thin air because some higher being says so.

After this controversy was brought up and quickly dropped, I almost opened the topic of homosexual marriage. I personally do not have a problem with same sex marriages. If someone wants to tie themselves to another human being for all eternity, so be it. It is not my place to say whether they can or they can't. They should be allowed the legal benefits of opposite sex marriages. I personally never want to get married. I have no desire to chain myself to anyone, and I want to live my life according to my rules, morals, and obligations. All I'm saying is that to each their own, and let love prosper. It comes naturally to everyone. Love, that is. We all have the innate need to love another human, to develop emotional ties. Who cares if it's the opposite sex or the same one? It's every person's choice, and everyone has their own opinion.

As for abortion. I personally have no freaking clue as to when a life begins. I don't like the idea of killing a defenseless creature, but if it is absolutely medically necessary, then abortion should be the mother's choice.

I hate politics. I refuse to think about them, discuss them, even care about them. They are stupid. It's all a bunch of old men or radical hippies tossing around big words thinking they can speak for every single person in their "domain". Uhm, sorry, politicians, but no. You cannot speak for me. I have had people trying to do that my whole life, and it ain't happenin'.

I may offend people, and this may shock a few people, but it's time I found my own voice.

There's no shuttin' me up now.